Complexity of life

Why is it that sometimes life can seem so simple and then something happens and it turns into this complex mess?

I feel so overwhelmed. So out of control. Not sure what I want. Where I want to go. What I want to do. Then I think about those 4 statements and realize they all included the selfishness of "I". I'd like to think I'm not a selfish person, but I'd be lying if I said I wasnt. I'm human.

Have you ever felt like you dont belong? It seems like I feel that way so often. No family relations really. I have friends, yes, but how many of them really know me. I dont know what I want. I do my best to cling to the Lord, but sometimes that feels hopeless too. I know its not. I have to unbusy myself and fall into His arms. I am doing so much. All of it for His kingdom, but if I am not spiritually fed, then what good am I? I'm not. I am nothing.

I pray for His direction. I just want His best for my life. But what does that entail? What if I make the wrong decision again? My poor heart cant take it again, it just cant. I want to know that I'm headed in the right direction and not just moving towards comfort. I'm not sure what to do. I need help. Answers. The right words and signs to show me what to do next.

Proverbs 3:5-6